We all know the drill when it comes to conspiracy theories; there are ones that are based upon factual evidence, others that toy with the truth and then we have the category which are just ridiculously outlandish! Jack the Ripper is no exception.
Surfing the outer reaches of cyber space just minding my own “ripper” business I happen to stumble upon an article entitled “Top 10 stupidest/weirdest Jack the Ripper theories.” Curiosity getting the best of me I stepped straight in. Skimming the page, I was first drawn to number 7 “The Demon of the Belfry.” The ominous article depicted the rape and murder of two women almost seven years after the Whitechapel murders. Theo Durrant a 23 year medical student was labeled as the perpetrator, said to have been seen with both women prior to their disappearances. Reporters dubbed the student/Sunday school superintendent “The Demon of the Belfry.” Although, a second suspect did come to light in the form of church minister John George Gibson. Gibson’s peculiar movements around the time in question did raise a few eyebrows but were largely dismissed. In 1898 Durrant was hung. The brutality of the murders lead people to belief that Durrant could’ve been in fact the ripper but Robert Graysmith author of “Zodiac and Zodiac Unmasked” begs to differ. Graysmith spending a considerable amount of time analysing the events found that the Church minister’s activities matched perfectly with Whitechapel murders – leaving his post 8 months prior to the murders and returning 1 month after (quite the coincident).
Now I know what you’re thinking; that wasn’t particularly funny, in fact it was borderline depressing but believe me it does get better. As I sifted through the rest of the countdown crammed full of spurious claims and ridiculous suspects (Vincent Van Gogh charting number 5), I was left howling approaching number 1. Sitting perched upon the top spot is everyone’s favourite dictator (no not Sacha Baron Cohen) Adolf Hitler! To think that anyone in their right mind would associate the German Nazi politician with that of the unidentified London serial killer is quite frankly hilarious! Granted, both are responsible for the deaths of their fellowman (and women) but on levels that are worlds apart. “Lunacy” (to quote the articles author) would be the best way to describe this derailed train of thought.
Now I’m not the type to outright dismiss things but this is definitely a conspiracy for the looney bin. Could you actually imagine if Adolf Hitler, that’s right Adolf Hitler really was Jack the Ripper!? Talk about dedication to a killing cause. Delving even further into this conspiracy (most likely plucked from the deepest realms of the Twilight Zone) I inadvertently stumbled upon its creator. Not bothering to waste time (and brain cells) reading his convoluted Hitler hypothesis I scrolled swiftly to the comment section at the bottom where I was greeted by…..“This theory, though interesting, has more holes in it than the ripper’s victims.” Priceless! Funnily enough it stands as the only comment to date but nonetheless, speaks volumes.
It’s only a matter of time before the Dalal Lama or Wallace and Gromit are thrown into the mix. I kid you not.
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